June 2014- In like a lion, out like a lamb

June came in like a lion and went out like a lamb... sort of. Let me explain. At the beginning of the month, when Teddy was only five weeks old, Ben left on a business trip for five days. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that I almost lost my mind while he was gone. Teddy was super fussy day and night and I had no one to hand him off to. He was waking up every 1.5 to 2 hours consistently during the night and it made me a zombie. A cranky, crazy, zombie.

However, a few things saved me. First, my friend Dennine let me borrow an infant swing. I was very anti-swing before, however it helped ease his crying and gave me a break when I needed it. I will no longer judge mothers who use swings. Then, Heavenly Father was watching over me. On Saturday I felt so alone and depressed so I prayed, "Heavenly Father, I can get through this weekend if someone will just invite me to their house for dinner tomorrow" (unfortunately I was too proud to ask someone for help). Anyway, the next day at church my friend Jana approached me. She knew Ben was out of town and asked how I was doing. I was such a mess- I couldn't even smile and lie. In the middle of the hallway I burst into tears. She quickly told me that I was invited to her house to dinner and that she would take Teddy third hour so I could have a break.

Jana didn't get the chance to take Teddy third hour because our dear friend Art Park saw me crying and came to take Teddy. Teddy fell right asleep and Art rocked him in the hallway the whole third hour. He was my hero that day.

Jana was also my hero- she didn't have any plans for dinner but invited me anyway. When I arrived at her house, she took the crying Teddy and rocked him to sleep while I ate. Then as he slept Nayeli played with her kids. I loved our ward before this experience but this specific Sunday I fell in love. It is so full of good people willing to serve and help others. I feel so taken care of and loved here. I will be so sad if we ever have to leave.

But then Ben arrived home Monday night and was, of course, so sorry he had been gone. And then everything got better. Teddy started crying less, I had someone to switch off with me when I couldn't take it anymore, and my best friend was once again by my side.

My growing boy. He weighed 14 pounds at his two month appointment.

My treasures

 

Nayeli found the whipped cream tupperware and the rest is history.

Ready for Sunday, complete with a bowtie

 

I am a human jungle gym

And just for a little extra enjoyment, here's a clip taken while Ben was out of town. (note: I misuse the word pontificate in here. I meant punctuate... but it was 5pm and I had just woken up from a nap. Just sayin').



As June settled down we had two visits from Ben's mom Jane. We had a great time while she and others were here and even went out to the coast at the end of the month (post to follow soon). And the best way to end any month is to go to the coast. A wonderful end to a crazy beginning.

Teddy's Blessing

Sunday June 29 was Jane, Chelsea and Esther's last day with us. Thus we decided to bless Teddy at our church.

Jane and I picked out his blessing outfit together.

Before church we went to a local park and got some family pictures

Proud Grandma Jane. I think Teddy looks like Winston Churchill in this picture. Something about the hairline and head shape. Ben, of course, disagrees.

The blessing was beautiful and Ben did such a great job. Poor Teddy, on the other hand, was gassy or hungry or tired or something and cried the entire time. I felt so bad. But a blessing is a blessing and I believe in those promises whether or not I could hear them over Teddy's sobs :)

Our last group shot before Jane, Esther and Chelsea headed home. What a ton of fun we crammed into only a few days! Let's do it again soon, shall we?

Jane, Chelsea and Esther Visit

June 26-29, 2014

Jane flew home with Gary on a Sunday and drove back up with Ben's little sister Chelsea and great-aunt Esther just a few days later. Why? Because she's awesome and she loves us... of course.

The day they arrived we drove to the coast and stayed in an adorable beachhouse that Ben had reserved.

Isn't it cute? We stayed in Gearhart which was just above Seaside and Cannon Beach.

At the beachhouse. Jane had bought Teddy a dinosaur shirt on her first visit and Nayeli became jealous. So of course she was given a matching dinosaur shirt :)

Esther and Nayeli bonded immediately

On Thursday we woke up with plans to see the beach. Unfortunately it was rainy and really, really cold, but that has never stopped the Petersen clan from having fun. Our first stop was the iconic Cannon Beach. We didn't stay too long because of the weather but still got to enjoy the beautiful views.

Poor Teddy. The wind and cold was a little much for him.

Esther rocking Teddy

And where was Nayeli? Just happy to be at the beach. This girl LOVES sand and the ocean. And she never complained about being cold, not once. She's an adventurer like her dad.

Haystack rock

Chelsea and Jane. I love these two

Probably my favorite picture from the trip. We had so much fun together.

On Thursday the weather was even worse. We tried to walk the boardwalk in Seaside but it was POURING so that wasn't as enjoyable of an experience as I had hoped.

Chelsea carried Nayeli under her poncho to keep her dry (see the little foot poking out?). She is the best.

Luckily the weather cleared up and we were able to go to Ecola State Park. It's got a beautiful overlook of Cannon Beach.

You know it's cold when you use your beach towel as a blanket.

 

Another favorite. Esther is holding onto her hair because it was so windy. Note we are all wearing our swimsuits. We were really hoping to get in the water. Yeah right :)

We then drove down to Indian Beach, somewhere we'd never been. It's famous for surfing and AMAZING tide pools. We were lucky enough to hit it right at low tide.

Indian Beach

Ben and Chelsea

Me and my love

Family shot. Teddy is bundled under Ben's jacket.

At the tide pools

There were purple starfish, crabs and sea anemones everywhere.

Then, while the weather was nice we also got to take out the raft that Jane had brought. Nayeli loved it.

Friday we decided to head home by way of Tillamook. We took the Tillamook cheese factory tour and ate lunch there (no pics, sorry), then drove out to the first Oregon beach we ever went to- Oceanside. Jane and Chelsea were so disappointed because it was so cold and rainy and they had really wanted to get into the water. Then just as we were about to leave the sun miraculously appeared and so Jane, Ben and Chelsea all jumped into the freezing cold water. Of course Nayeli also wanted to join in on the fun and trying to follow, face planting right into the surf. As I juggled Teddy and a screaming and soaked Nayeli, I watched the clouds return as suddenly as they had left. All the swimmers ran out of the water (after maybe five minutes) laughing. Ben grabbed Nayeli and we all ran to the cars as the rain fell in sheets. My thought the whole time I watched them was, "What a family of adventurers!" To be honest, about 90% of the time I think they are crazy but 100% of the time I feel lucky to be one of them.

My sweet girl at Oceanside

We spent Friday night at home then Saturday went into Portland to go the Saturday Market. By this point in the trip Nayeli was beat.

 

We picked up some Voodoo Doughnuts (great doughnuts, disgusting marketing scheme) and drove home to play Settler's of Cataan. Because what would a trip with Jane be without Settler's, right?

The next day Teddy was blessed but that has to be the next post. Because you can only put so much fun into a single post, right?

Jane and Gary Visit

June 19-22 --- "Grandma Jane" came for two visits in June. The first time she came with her husband Gary. He had a conference in Portland so Jane finally got to meet Teddy and spend time with Nayeli.

Of course we had to go swimming. Ben's mom loves the water and has taught swim lessons for years. In fact, she walked on to the University of Utah's swim team in her college days.

We did the greatest hike in the gorge to Wahclella Falls. It was one of our favorite hikes to date. Very easy and so pretty.

 

I seldom worry about accessories for Nayeli's outfits, especially if we're going hiking, but she insisted on this crocheted hat for the day. It made her look so hipster and well... so Portland. I guess we're fitting in just fine.

Our whole party

Yeli girl and Grandma Jane. Doesn't this photo just warm your heart?

After hiking the falls we drove further into the gorge to Hood River. It's a hippie town along the highway where people go to kite-board. They essentially strap a wakeboard to their feet and have a kite that pulls them in the water. It's really pretty cool. We watched some people doing it in the Columbia River as we drove over the bridge to Washington. That offered a spectacular view of Mt Hood. We then drove up Mt Hood to the Timberline Lodge. It was built during the depression and has beautiful craftsmanship. They just don't make 'em like they used to, do they?

Needless to say, we had a great time with Jane and Gary. We chatted, played rousing games of Settlers of Cataan, and Jane even watched both kids for us while Ben and went to dinner at a nearby restaurant. We were so excited that Jane was coming back the next week. She and Gary flew home Sunday morning but she returned with Chelsea and Esther on Wednesday.

What I Know

It's 5am and I can't sleep. I just put Teddy down after a middle of the night feeding, but my mind is swimming with thoughts. During late night feedings I read, and tonight I read a sincere and well-meaning blog post written by a friend. A friend with questions and possibly doubts. And although she may never read this, this is for that friend, or any friend who has questions and doubts. This is what I believe.

I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints my entire life. I was taught it from the beginning. I sang its songs as a child. I attended mutual each week as a teenager. In college, I served for 18 months to teach its message to others. It gave me wonderful role models as my leaders taught and guided me. At home my parents were amazing examples of living its principles in their marriage, lives, and in the way they raised us. It has brought me happiness. I has always been everything I needed.

But I'll never forget the Sunday that, for the first time ever, I wanted to walk out the doors of the church and never return. My husband had recently been repeatedly and heavily criticized in a calling in which he was trying his very best. I had been asked the previous week to prepare "better and more entertaining" lessons because I was "boring" the children I was teaching. It was just before sacrament meeting and I learned of a dear friend who had been severely criticized and, for lack of a better phrase, tongue lashed because she had called during dinnertime to ask a member of the ward a simple question.

The opening hymn started, but I was already out the door. Tears streamed from my eyes. I was angry. Angry because, if there was claim that this was the church of Christ, why wasn't it full of the most Christian people on the earth?

My husband quietly followed me. He was silent as I paced the sidewalk outside the church building. Finally I cried, almost yelling, "Why are we even here?!"

His calm reply was just what I needed to hear. "We're here for Jesus Christ".

He was right. I wasn't there for them. I was there for Him.

Recently we've had close friends and family decide to leave the church. Each time I hear of it, my heart is heavy. And sometimes for a brief moment I have the thought, what if I leave?

Then my mind is immediately taken to the scripture in John 6 when Christ is with his disciples and he teaches them "hard sayings" or things that were difficult for them to hear. And then it says:

From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.  Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?  Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.  And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.

I can't ever leave. To where would I go?

People in the church may have failed me, but God has never failed me. Jesus Christ has never failed me. And to me, it is His church. They are tied together. To believe in one is to believe in the other. I have asked and I know. I know that He restored all the truths necessary for our salvation through the prophet Joseph Smith. I know that Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God. I know that the Book of Mormon, just like the Bible, is holy scripture.

It's not just what I believe. It's what I know.

The Last Hurrah

I was going through pictures this week and found some from before Teddy was born that I never posted. It's amazing how life has changed since then. Humor me while we take a small trip down memory lane.

JANUARY

Nayeli went through a phase when she was constantly taking her socks off and putting them on her hands. She only does it occasionally now, but it cracks me up when she does.

Speaking of socks, one day we got home from church and Nayeli was able to sign / tell me that she wanted her tights on her head. She then proceeded to look at herself in the mirror and giggle. Sometimes her cuteness kills me.

"Why, no mom, I didn't touch the colored pencils. Why do you ask?"

FEBRUARY

Happy Valentine's Day!

Ben made this car from a diaper box. There are major perks from having married a right-brained person.

When your dad is a skier, this is sometimes how you dress up. We are taking her skiing when we go to Utah for Christmas. She is SO excited. It goes without saying that Ben is excited too.

Nayeli went through a phase that she was OBSESSED with dogs. These are just a few that were gifts from family and friends. Can you just see the look of elation on her face as she hugs them?

Speaking of dogs, we went on a walk and she spotted one in the distance. This is the next shot we got of her. I believe she shouted, "Doggy!" as she ran away.

For a long time she was a great eater. She would eat anything I put in front of her, even soap. Ha ha, of course I didn't put the soap in front of her, fate did. But she didn't seem to mind. Needless to say, I don't think this will be an effective form of punishment in the future.

 MARCH

Nayeli is really into "hiding"- usually in places where I can see almost all of her.

We live right by the Willamette River (the river that runs through Portland). When the weather is nice we often take walks down to the dock by our home.

At a riverside park in West Linn. Another dog that she loves to haul around.

On the dock

See that growing baby bump? I was about 36 weeks here.

Our favorite park is Memorial Park and it's right by our house. The wildflowers were breathtaking.

All growing up my dad took us kids on "date night" about once a month. It was a night for him to do something with each child individually, and we could do almost anything we wanted to do. I loved it. This is a picture from Nayeli's first date night with Ben. They went to REI and played in the tents, then bought chocolate and ate it while watching fountains. Ben is the greatest dad. Really, I couldn't imagine a better father for my children.

APRIL

On a walk one day- Nayeli was playing near a pond and before I knew it, "Splash!" I just had to laugh. She didn't think it was as funny as I did.

Some of the amazing sisters in my ward threw me a shower- Kellena Collier and Kristi Park as well as so many others. It was at Kellena's house and was in an orange and blue theme. It was so cute! So many woman came and gave me such nice things. I love this ward so much and have met some of the most Christian people of my life here.

Ben painting Nayeli's toenails. She insisted he do it since when I did it tickled too much. Unfortunately she was ticklish no matter who was doing the painting :)

We went to the Portland temple grounds one Sunday before I delivered.

Easter egg dying!

Happy Easter from our family! This was taken 8 days before Teddy was born.

Taken 3 days before his birth. I felt so big. I really could hardly breathe toward the end.

One of my favorite pictures ever. Ben is my best friend and this just captures what we do- cuddle on the couch and chat about life. This was also three days before Teddy's birth.

Well thanks for humoring me! I have had so much catching up to do with the blog, but I'm getting there. I just don't want to miss anything since I now print our blog into a book every year. It's like our family journal. So if nothing else, thanks for looking at our last hurrah as a family of three.