More on Fashion Sense: The Episode of the Boots

A while ago I posted our family pictures on this blog and Facebook and I had three people comment on the boots I was wearing. Why? Well, those boots are rather famous. It's been two years since they redefined my marriage with Ben and they are still an icon. Allow me to tell the tale.

Once upon a time Ben and I were more newlywed than we are now. We were in a budding relationship, discovering each other and learning about marriage. And then one day... Ben discovered something about me that he wished he hadn't.

We were about to go to Washington DC for Ben's internship. In fact, we had been invited to a party with all the other students we'd be living with. Being the mild-fashionista that I am, I wanted to buy something new for the party. The recent style of skinny jeans with knee-high boots had really caught my eye. What a perfect way for someone with short legs (like me) to look tall and lean! It was just the look I had been waiting years to catch on!

So I went to the mall and bought the cutest pair of skinny jeans and knee-high boots I could find. And I only spent $55. I was so proud of my bargains that I couldn't wait to come home and show my husband. I wish I hadn't.

As soon as I put the jeans and boots, Ben looked at me with disbelief.

"What?" I asked. "Don't you like them?"

"You look like all the dumb girls on campus".

I was shocked. Ben had never said anything like that to me. So I retaliated.

"Well I like it. Besides, I didn't marry you so you could tell me what to wear".

Ben was shocked. I had never said anything like that to him either.

And thus began the battle. While our typical arguments usually resolved within the hour, this one festered. And wouldn't go away.

It was two full days of tears, harsh words, and nights on the couch (not really, but with the cold shoulder Ben got in bed he might as well been sleeping on the couch). And then I decided to go to my parent's and discuss the matter with them. I was sure they would take my side.

But they didn't. They took Ben's. My mom suggested I return the boots saying, "Those boots aren't worth your marriage". At the time I felt betrayed, but I can now see that my parents were teaching me an important lesson. They were letting me know that if I came crying to them, they weren't going to provide me refuge. They wanted to get the message across early on that I needed to solve my marital problems within my marriage. 

Ben's mom Jane did the same. After discussing the matter over, she suggested Ben show me he was sorry by having me wear the boots while taking me out to dinner. In typical Ben humor he asked, "Could I just take her through the drive-through?" Ha ha.

Eventually it got sorted out, we forgave each other, and I now own three pairs of knee-high boots. In fact, for Christmas I even bought myself a pair of neon-pink skinny jeans and Ben didn't even flinch. He has come a long way.

Besides, it serves us well to have at least one of us keep our fashion sense up to date. And with Ben as an unlikely candidate, I gladly step in. They may be tough boots... I mean shoes... to fill, but somebody has to do it.

The boots with us at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing in Washington DC.

At a lunch with friends. Please notice that 50% of these girls are wearing knee-high boots (and one calf height! Which is almost the same thing).

White vs. Off-white

Since Ben and I are still technically newlyweds I still get a kick out of the differences between men and women. I knew men were different but until I got married I had no idea how different. This week brought up a funny example.

When Ben and I got married I bought an off-white cardigan to wear to our open house and wedding breakfast. After I discovered how much I loved it, I kicked myself for not having bought a white one as well. I returned to Nordstrom to discover they were all sold out and for months I looked for a plain white cardigan to no avail.

Then finally right before my birthday I found them on the web but the price was higher and when I showed Ben, he asked, "Isn't the sweater you already have white?" I tried to explain that off-white and white are different and go with different outfits, etc., but that's difficult to explain to a man who still wears the same shoes he wore in high school :) Anyway, in the course of the conversation I felt silly for wanting another and very similar cardigan and so I let the opportunity go for the second time.

But then this week I went to the mall here in Pentagon City and I found... the same white cardigan I've been looking for. Woo hoo! And I bought it without any regrets. When I came home I made sure it was a different color than the one I already have, then showed Ben when he got home. He's such a good husband; he just laughed and didn't comment.

Can you see a difference?

But now that I look at the picture, maybe Ben (the man) was right all along. Except that I'm already imagining great spring outfits that will go perfect with the white cardigan, which would never have worked with the off-white one. :)

"A Man's Museum"

Last Thursday, Ben had a man moment. As soon as we'd been in the Smithsonian's Air and Space Museum only 5 minutes, he proudly stated "This is a man's museum". It must have something to do with testosterone levels. But in the end we both, male and female, had a great time.

In front of the Apollo 11 module.
It carried the first men who walked on the moon.

Ben inside the aircraft carrier. He loved it and I loved watching him love it.
"Honey, did you know this is a F-14 tomcat?!" Why no honey, I did not :)

In front of the Wright Brother's first flyer

Marriage Lesson #25: Men give great gifts, if they get enough hints :)

Ben and I recently went to the grocery store. As we finished checking out, I noticed there were beautiful potted flowers near the door. We neared the display, and the dialogue went something like this..
Me: Wow these flowers are so pretty!
Ben (picking up a nearby newspaper and beginning to read): Uh huh
Me: Oh my gosh Ben, look, orchids!
Ben (mumbling, engrossed in the paper): Uh huh
Me: They're so pretty. I've always really wanted an orchid.
Ben (deeper engrossed in the paper): Uh huh
Me (grabbing Ben's arm and making sure I have eye contact): I've always really wanted an orchid Ben.
Ben (now making eye contact like a child being disciplined): Ok.

After a few weeks, I thought Ben had forgotten the whole thing. Probably because the last and only time he has gotten me flowers is the day he proposed to me, and those came with a card that said, "Please accept our deepest sympathies". Needless to say, my expectations weren't high.

Then one night I had an awful night at work. I did a 12 hour shift from 5pm to 5am and came home exhausted. As I walked in the door, this is what I found.Ben had bought me an orchid as well as placed his computer open on the counter with a note telling me to push play. A sappy love song came on and I began to cry. It was more than I could have ever expected at 5am. It was spontaneous. It was kind. It was wonderful.

Ben outdid himself. He surprised me with flowers, a love song and a warm bed to crawl into after a long night at work. And all I had to do was hint at the grocery store. It makes me think, what else could I hint about?

Marriage Lesson #16: Men are Men

Yesterday I went and cut 3 inches off my hair. It was getting too long, scraggly and hard to manage. I decided not to tell Ben though so I could put him to the test- Would he notice? I, like any other naive and innocent newlywed, thought "Of course he'll notice 3 inches gone!". Does anyone want to guess the end of the story? When I picked him up from school he didn't mention it so I finally asked if he noticed anything different. He looked at me, then began to guess. "Uh, you shaved your legs? That's a new shirt? You cut your hair? You dyed it? Oh, I know, highlights? Right?" Needless to say, I was a little put out and threatened to get a pixie cut next time just so that he'll notice instantly.
Although in the dog house for a few moments, he was quickly forgiven when my visiting teachers came later in the night and didn't say a word about it. Then before going to bed he said, "You know why I don't think I noticed your hair cut? Because it's the same length it was when we started dating." And he's right. Bottom line: Ben is a man, and I love him.