3 Sets of Clothes

Athena is at work tonight. This means I'm at home waiting for 11:00 when I can go to bed and wait for her to snuggle up to me at 5:30 a.m. Sometimes she is an emotional wreck when she gets home. Working in the E.R. is not a teddy bear's picnic for either party, no ma'am. Imagine me, the unsuspecting, sleeping husband trying to deal with an emotional, tired wife at 5:30 a.m. Sometimes it looks more like a grizzly bear's picnic. Needless to say, we love each other and the E.R. sometimes requires that we be patient with each other-- that or stockpile bear mace. However, I'll make the E.R. a post for another day--say--next year sometime when I post again. I feel like blogging is mostly a woman's sport, but I don't mind dabbling in this neck of the woods from time to time. I just need to remember to beat sticks against the trees to avoid any sort of unwanted encounters with the native wildlife. That said, I wander into this unknown forest of blogger bears, with the nearly concrete assumption that my audience is nearly almost, if not completely and entirely, female. Hence, I address what I feel to be a personal male flaw, in hopes to gain insight and understanding. Your comments and suggestions are welcome and encouraged.

My topic of discussion today is clothing. Perhaps my inspiration comes from a friend's blog www.xothelookbook.com. She was in the broadcast journalism program with me and was always impeccably dressed. I suppose this qualifies her to write a blog dedicated to the art of dressing well. The other inspiration for this post comes from a recent perusal of the "Petersen Palooza Blog." I realized after looking at the many pictures that Athena has posted, that it appears that I have/wear approximately three sets of clothes. Funny thing is, that's about accurate. Clothes really aren't my thing. If one were to examine the clothing that is currently in my closet and the clothing that was in my closet, say, seven years ago, there are few disparities between the two; yes, they are nearly identical. The fact of the matter is, I have been wearing the same clothes for a long time. Assuming I don't get typhoid fever and lose a bunch of weight, I will probably be wearing the same clothes until they fall apart or until my children steal them because the styles from the early part of this millennium have finally come back in vogue.


You see, I just don't worry too much about clothes. I have my favorite pair of shorts from the DI, my brother's pants that fit just right, a couple shirts that fit like a dream, and my beloved blue jacket that I picked up at a BYU lost and found sale. I watch styles float past my island of fashion disregard and I don't seem to mind. If my old clothes make me happy, why would I spend money on new ones? And if I did spend money on new clothes, what would I buy? Where would I buy it? What if I ended up hating my new wardrobe? The uncertainty of the entire endeavor is enough to discourage this fashion flop from even driving past a mall with thoughts of stopping.

My alternative to fashion and purchasing new clothing is simple: marriage. By marrying a style savvy woman, I have effectively evaded all malls and shopping trips, as well as the difficult decisions made in department stores. New clothing simply appears. Imagine that! Indeed, marrying Athena has brought previously unprecedented feng shui and renewed chi to my side of the closet. I declare in solemn solemnity that I have approximately two new items of clothing in my wardrobe-- a 200% increase over the last fiscal year. Yes, this whole marriage thing could change the entire face of the faded t-shirt section in the closet. It could mean I return my brother's sweaters so expertly pilfered after my mission. It could ring in a new era of style and suave debonair delight. It could mean my secret affinity for finding sweet old clothes at the DI is over. It could mean there will be more variety and style in the clothing I wear in the pictures on our blog. It could mean I lose my favorite belt that has served me since 8th grade or the t-shirt from my junior year of high school. Yes, this is serious business. While I know my old clothes won't last forever, I'm not sure what the future holds for my wardrobe. Perhaps I'll start wearing camouflage in order to sneak up on the styles before they sneak up on me. I've heard overalls never go out of style-- maybe therein lies my fashion future. The only thing I know is that my favorite pair of pants is starting to wear at the knee and Athena keeps suggesting we buy me some new clothes. Does that mean she wants me to go shopping with her? Do I make a go at it alone? The trepidation has me petrified. For now, I'll just keep wearing my faded clothes and hope overalls go on sale soon. The front pockets on those puppies would sure be nice for storing loose change and bear mace.
Ben