Celery, fetchin' hussies and the other things Athena says while asleep (and awake)

It's Ben here with another post full of intrigue and excitement.  Let's begin at this: Athena is a very intelligent individual. She is a fast thinking, high performance go-getter that runs circles around me.  I love her very much.  It's important for me to preface this post with that information. That said, let us now dive into the wonderful intricacies of the things Athena says when she's awake, then continue on with a follow-up on a previous post about the things Athena says in her sleep.

Things Athena says when she's awake
Like I said, Athena is very smart. However, her brain will sometimes run so fast and furious that her tongue trips and hilariously exudes gems that I promptly write down for the entertainment of our posterity.

 First, let's begin with the butchered idioms category. I've forgotten most of the context behind each of these Athena-isms, but I feel like the material is sufficiently incriminating to stand without explanation:
 -- It was like a hand on a chalkboard.
-- You read me like a glove.
-- No caution to the wind.
-- I'm burping a storm up.
-- I was so mad, she sent me over the roof.

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 Next, a fine conversation we had:
 A: That's not even clausible.
B: Did you just say "clausible?"
A: No, I said "plausible," but it came out "clausible."
B: (laughing)

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One night, Athena was hungry as we were about to go to bed. In order to make me feel like I wasn't being abandoned, she kindly asked:
A: Do you mind if I go out and scowage?
B: Scowage?
A: Yeah, you know... uhh...
"Scowaging"... it's like scouring and scavenging combined in one late-night jaunt to the fridge.

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 And lastly in the awake category... pronunciation:

As I've taken a new job and Athena has quit her job at the hospital, we've had to discuss money and how much we are/aren't making. It appears when Athena learned to speak, there were several word connections that were wired to the wrong places. Here's a conversation that may or may not have happened:
 B: How much were you making at the hospital?
A: Well, my celery was pretty decent there.
B: You mean your salary?
A: Yeah, my celery.
B: Celery, like the food?
A: No, celery.
B: Do you mean salary?
A: Yes, Ben! Celery!

Bullying is a common theme in the media these days, and we've discussed it together several times recently. Here is a hypothetical conversation about bullying at our house:
 B: Wow, I can't believe how many kids pick on each other.
A: I know, bowling is a huge problem everywhere now.
B: Are we talking about bullying or bowling?
A: Bowling.
B: Pins? Strikes? Spares?
A: No, bowling when kids pick on each other at school.
B: That's bullying, not bowling.
A: I know, bowling!

 I think I've tried to correct Athena's pronunciation several times, but I think it's so darn cute, I'll probably just let it go and chuckle to myself when we discuss "celeries" and "bowling."

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And we're into the asleep category:
I don't have as many juicy sleep-talking quotes as I did in the first post about the topic, but these ones are gems that need inclusion.  I think this one came after a long night of work in the ER:
A: "Your sister ended up hitting her head with even smaller heads. OK?"

I think she was dreaming about a disagreement with her mother in this one.
A: "No it's not. It's like I'm a fetchin' hussy. Like I don't know how to do makeup. It's stupid!"

This one was completely random:

A: "Premothering.  I don't claim to be an expert in that category.  Did you get the good tasting ones?"

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Well, there you have it.  This is a just a small glimpse into what happens at the Petersen house. We thoroughly enjoy our time together and I especially enjoy my life married to Athena. She always keeps it interesting.