Smotherhood

Social media makes people's lives look so glamorous and perfect, doesn't it? I'll admit, I almost exclusively post the best of my life because it's my highlight roll. It's what I want to remember. The reality, however, is that my life is neither glamorous nor perfect- no one's is. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother. I love it. But I once heard motherhood referred to as "smotherhood" and I get it. Many days I myself ask, "Can a woman get a moment to herself around here?!"

There are so many things I used to do alone and not even think about the solitude... not even think about it. How things have changed since I had children.

Take going to the bathroom for example:

Teddy calling to Ben in the bathroom (he does the same thing to me- there's no mistaking those little fingers under the door).

Or showering. Teddy is an early riser and isn't very interested in TV. That means that unless I want to wake up before him (which I typically don't), I have to pull him into the shower with me to keep him out of trouble (I used to let him play with toys outside the shower until he started putting them in the toilet). Now shower time has become a juggle of keeping Teddy occupied and away from the razor that I'm using to shave my legs.

And then we move on to doing my hair and make-up. I've found the trick to being able to get anything done is to put Teddy in the sink and let him tear apart my vanity. I've only had to pull the deodorant from his mouth one time so, we're still in good shape, right?

Also, remember those days when you were childless and you could go buy a soda at the drive-through and sip it peacefully in the car? Remember that? Now each time I want anything at a drive-through I have to consider the two mouths sitting behind me. It makes those frequent Sonic trips a little more expensive than they used to be. Thank goodness for Happy Hour.

(This photo was actually taken on a day that sodas and Dora were the only thing that got us through until bedtime).

And last but not least, sleep. A few months ago Nayeli started having bad dreams and so I would crawl into bed with her to help her fall back asleep. Then Ben was sad that he was waking up in the morning by himself, so I started pulling her into bed with us. It was okay for awhile, but then she started to take liberties with space and before we knew it Ben was sleeping on a sliver of our bed each night. Not to mention that I was sandwiched between the two of them. The situation just made us all grouchy and wasn't working.

Luckily, we were able to make Nayeli a mini-bed right by where I sleep. She's taken to that quite well and we've found we're all sleeping much better.

Nevermind that it's a king sized bed- we would always end up like this in the morning. 

Oh, and one last thing:

There are two funny things about this picture. First, look at the text in blue. That was one of the kids texting Ben from my phone. Pretty sure it went something like this:

(Me, trying to send Ben a text)

Kid: Mom, I want to send Dad a text.

Me: Okay, just a second, let me finish this.

Kid: But I want to send him a text now! And play a game! And look at pictures!

Me: Just a second, I just have to finish...

Kid: Now!

Remember the days when you could just send a text and handle your phone without someone else trying to pry it from your hands? Me too. But just barely...

Then second part of the picture is the text in yellow. Ben sent this to me on his lunch break and I could not stop laughing. It looks like Teddy sampled some of the produce when he "helped" me put the groceries away. That's another thing... remember grocery shopping by yourself? Yeah, me neither.

The truth about motherhood is that it is about finding balance- a balance between giving your children your time and love while maintaining a sense of self-identity. It's about keeping your sanity while developing lasting relationships with your kids. I am still learning how to balance (and stay sane for that matter), but I look to two of the great examples in my life for help.

My own mother was a wonderful example of selflessness. She would drop any personal interest or endeavor to show us love and give us time. She always erred on the side of giving us more and herself less. She is one of the most loving people I have ever known.

The second example, and the most perfect, is the Savior. He never thought of himself but only of others. He was constantly loving, serving, helping and caring. Christ said, "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it" (Matthew 10:39). Am I losing my life to be a mother? Maybe. But by giving so much of myself, more than I ever thought I could give, I am also discovering greater love, patience, happiness and joy than I ever thought possible. Whatever I may give, the reward is infinitely greater. 

In the meantime, I'll try to relish the snuggles in bed and the fingers under the bathroom door. They won't last forever, and while they do they can make me a better person. Also, it doesn't hurt that I get to wake up to this face. No matter what time it is, he is still cute.

Early morning selfie