Just so you know...

Well friends, I have some good news and bad news all wrapped into one. For those of you who didn't know, in February Ben and I found out that we were expecting. We were super excited and looking forward to having a baby in October.

Here we are after taking the pregnancy test. I love this picture.

Then at about 6 weeks, morning sickness started. Full blown. Throwing up about every other day, no energy or motivation; if you've been there you know what I'm talking about. But we got through it. At week 13 I started to feel a little better, just in time to come back to Utah.

I never saw a doctor in DC due to insurance reasons and because nothing ever felt wrong. I made myself my own doctor :) I set an appointment for as soon as we got back to Utah. So this week we had my first appointment. My uterus measured the right size at 14 weeks, but when Dr. R used the doppler (the sound magnification machine) he couldn't find a heartbeart. Being a nurse, I wasn't concerned because I do the same thing at work and sometimes I can't find a heartbeat. So they wheeled in the ultrasound machine and began looking around. As soon as the ultrasound tech told us the baby only measured 8 weeks I knew it was dead. I looked on the screen and saw no beating heart, no arms or legs, just a lifeless blob. The doctor then came back in and explained that I would eventually miscarry the baby naturally or I could take medicine to do it quicker. I opted for the medicine.

When we left the office we were obviously both very sad. A few hours earlier we thought I was 14 weeks pregnant. We thought we had gotten through the beast of morning sickness for the first time. And we thought we were going to have a new baby in October. But the beautiful thing about the gospel of Jesus Christ is that he sends his comforter, the Holy Ghost, when we need him. We felt that comforter from the moment they told us the baby had died. As if Heavenly Father was saying, "It's okay. Just trust me. I know what's best".

As a nurse I've seen many women miscarry in the ER. I've often thought, "Don't they know that their body knows when it's right or wrong? Don't they realize that this miscarriage is saving them from raising a baby that isn't formed right?" Now being on the receiving end, I understand each of those women so much better. Is it possible to be so sad about something, but so thankful at the same time? Over the past few days, Ben and I both have been able to sort out those feelings. And today I just feel grateful. I'm over the excitement of pregnancy and being parents and I feel, more than ever, God's plan unfolding for us and our family.

I'm sorry if this is a bit dramatic. I just want to express that I know this is what needed to happen to us, even if it has been hard and even though it means I'll go through morning sickness twice for one pregnancy. Blah :( (I'm trying not to think about that too much for now). My mom jokes that when my first child misbehaves I can say, "You had better behave. I went through morning sickness twice for you!" ha ha. But out of trials come countless blessings, including the miracle that I held onto the baby for 6 weeks after it had died, just so I wouldn't have to miscarry in DC without my family and friends nearby. That has meant the world to me and I can't thank Heavenly Father enough for that.

Another blessing is that I have 4 sisters, all of whom have had miscarriages. And they've all gone on to raise beautiful families. I feel no fear about not having children; we've only been married a year and still have time to start a family. The bottom line is, it's comforting to know that the Lord has a wonderful and perfect plan for our family. We are just lucky enough to be a part of it.

Eastern Market Finds

Last week Ben's mom and little sister came to DC to visit us before we return home. Ben had work or class most days (with final papers and such), so Jane, Chelsea, and I had a great time touring the sites and museums. There was a close-call with a near government shutdown, however we still got it all in. We were all happy because Jane and Chelsea got to see all they wanted, and Ben and I got to spend time with them.

A few nights we had Ben all to ourselves. We had dinner at the famous restaurant, "Founding Farmers". I'd give it 3 stars... just normal food. Not spectacular.

There are many great things about my mother-in-law, and one is that she loves to shop. And I love to shop. And I have been lacking a fun shopping partner since I've arrived here in DC. So Saturday morning we took Jane and Chelsea to get Blueberry Buckwheat Pancakes (delicious) at the Eastern Market and then... we went SHOPPING! Ben even got in the action. We wanted to get some unique souvenirs before we come home.

My purchase was the decorative tins on the left. Aren't they so cute? I'd been eying them since the first time we went to the market. Jane found a two cute skirts, and Chelsea got a hat knitted in the shape of a donkey. And Ben? Being the artist that he is he picked out some original art from DC. My picture below isn't very good, but it really is a cool painting of the Capitol and DC rowhouses.

Tourist tip: The Eastern Market on Saturday morning is a must-see if you are going to be in DC. It has people from all over the world selling art, jewelry, soap, candles, clothes, etc. We bought my tins from a Polish man, Ben's art from a man from the Republic of Georgia, and Chelsea's hat from an Ecuadorian man. So it's a cultural experience, as well as a really fun place to shop.

Headed South

(Pirated from my sister-in-law Marilyn, who painted this awesome map of Tennessee)

Having grown up in the west, who would have thought that everything in the east would be so close together? Since Ben and I have been in DC we have been to Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and most recently Tennessee. When my brother called to invite us for General Conference weekend, I had no idea Kingsport, TN was only a six hour drive away. And the benefit of growing up in the wide open space of the west is that six hours in a car is small change. Especially without kids. So Friday afternoon we packed up our stuff to head south and see my family.

It started out to be more of an adventure than we anticipated, mostly because Google Maps makes everything look so easy.

Step 1: Rent car. (Easy enough, considering they put Ben on as a driver since they didn't realize he's under 25).
Step 2: Maneuver one-way streets in busy city. (Slightly harder. I had looked them up online before leaving but there's always one that throws you off. We went in a few circles before we could get to the Barlow Center).
Step 3: Pack up car. (By far the easiest step. Can I just say how much I LOVED having a car again?)
Step 4: Confuse Google Map instructions. (Yep, we got lost leaving DC. However my trusty navigator aka Ben soon got us back on track and we were on the right highway after only 20 minutes of aimless driving).
Step 5: Drive in Friday afternoon DC traffic. (Worse than we thought).
Step 6: Enjoy the beautiful Virginia countryside.


Step 6 was obviously our favorite. Ben and I loved the rolling green hills of Virginia and thought the entire drive was straight out of a storybook. Red barns, cattle grazing, green grass, large old mansions set on hills... I'm sad I didn't take any pictures (so here's one I took off Google). We arrived on Friday night in time to talk with my brother David and sister Emily, their spouses, and families. Since they live in the same neighborhood, we got to spend plenty of time during the weekend with 10 of my nieces and nephews (pending 11 in May when David and Marilyn welcome their eighth child: a boy).

Saturday morning I was so excited to wake up and hear the birds chirping instead of the buzz of the city. Living in DC has taught us that we're country people (no offense to the city folk) :) We had a waffle breakfast, went to a yard sale, Ben and David went to WalMart to have a real "southern" experience, then conference began. Here in the east it starts at noon and it was nice to have a couple extra hours in the morning.

We enjoyed lots of treats during the sessions

Ben with his stash

With my nephew Peter. Robin's Eggs are the most fun to eat
because you can paint your lips... or face.

We watched the first session at David and Marilyn's, then went to Emily and Darren's for lunch and so all the men could play paintball. Behind Emily's house is 7 acres of forest so they divided into teams and shot the living daylights out of each other. That was until Ben decided he could have more fun shooting himself (just kidding honey :) ). While trying to get a stuck paintball out of the barrel, Ben's gun went off in his face, hitting the bridge of his nose and sending paint into his right eye. For a moment we weren't sure if we had just recreated "You'll shoot your eye out" from the Christmas story, but after a good rinse Ben could see fine. Let's just say we're grateful we didn't spend the second session of conference in the Emergency Room.

Ben in all the paintball garb, pre-"you'll shoot your eye out"

The paint-ballas

Saturday night, while the men went to Priesthood, Emily, my niece Eliza, and I all went shopping. I didn't buy anything, but it was so fun to walk around Target and TJ Maxx. I haven't been to a strip mall in months and it was highly therapeutic :) Sunday we got to enjoy beautiful Tennessee weather, walk around David and Marilyn's yard, see Emily's food storage, and listen to more conference. Conference was wonderful, and I loved all the topics and speakers. We arrived home Sunday night after being in the car a grand total of 12 hours. But after having so much fun with my family, it was worth every minute.

Cherry Blossoms!

I have always wanted to see the cherry blossoms in Washington DC and so I was thrilled when I found out we would be here for the annual Cherry Blossom Festival. Although it is still chilly and there are huge amounts of tourists, Ben and I took some time this week to walk down to the Tidal Basin. Verdict? It is a beautiful sight and just as breathtaking as everyone says.

Philadelphia and Valley Forge

Ben's professor planned another excursion for all the students last week to go to Philadelphia and stay at Valley Forge. Now I'll start out by saying that the trip was great, but the confession I have to make is that Ben and I are getting "touristed out". I can illustrate this principle with another example.

When I was a teenager my mom and dad packed us up and took us to Nauvoo. At the beginning of the trip we loved to see the historic sites, the period homes, but by the end of the week my sisters and I were adamant, "If we have to go inside another old house we're going to scream". Typically, as vacation time passes, the novelty wears off and one gets "touristed out". A girl on the tour this weekend told me, "When I was in France, I got to the point that I didn't want to see even one more cathedral".

Having said that, I don't want you to think Ben and I aren't enjoying our time out here. We love it. We realize that we may never get another opportunity like this again. So we're trying to soak it up. But there's still a little voice in our heads yelling, "If I have to visit one more battlefield I'm going to melt away".

PHILADELPHIA

We only spent a few hours on Saturday in Philly so we didn't see everything one can possibly see, but we enjoyed ourselves and became acquainted with the city of "brotherly love".

In front of an original 1709 street that has been preserved.
It's considered one of the oldest neighborhoods in America.

Inside the Pennsylvania State House aka Independence Hall,
where the Declaration of Independence and Constitution were signed.

With the Liberty Bell

VALLEY FORGE

Valley Forge was a great site to visit. It was interesting to hear the stories of bravery, patience, and struggle. And we went on a fairly cold day. When we kept complaining about the cold, the tour guide told us, "I'm sure glad this wasn't the original group at Valley Forge or we would have never won the Revolution". That puts it into even more perspective. And since Valley Forge isn't a battlefield, there was no melting away :)

The cabins. Twelve men (and their families) lived in each one.

George Washington's Valley Forge headquarters

So Happy Together

Ben is always saying I put all the "proper" pictures on the blog, so I thought in honor of our 11 month anniversary I'd put some more candid, down-to-earth, realistic pictures. Pictures of Ben and Athena being... Ben and Athena. And maybe this will just reveal how dorky we both are. But from the past 11 months I can tell you, it's being dorky together that is so much fun.

February 2010- Engagement pictures.
Starting at the beginning we were a match made in heaven.
Ben said something like "Show me your teeth" and this is what happened.

I think this was the worst day of Ben's life. Three hours of being a model was too much.
He eventually lost it. I promised him we won't do it again until we have kids.

Ben was heel clicking and it looked like fun...

I found out it's pretty hard to do in boots. Check out my hair.

April 2010: Trying to imitate the gorilla arms and faces at Hogle Zoo

July 2010: We were once obsessed with Sonic drinks. Very very obsessed.

August 2010: At my family's cabin.
You know, a BB gun really is a very masculine weapon.

November 2010: Jane's birthday party.
I think we'll still be pretty good looking when we get old.

March 2011: Modeling the train tracks at Harper's Ferry

This doesn't have us being geeks, but I thought it should go here too. Last night
Ben's boss took us to Blue Man Group for FREE! We had a great time, although I'll admit that we didn't think it was as good as everyone had said it to be. Maybe we're a
tough crowd? Either way, it was fun to see a show in DC and celebrate our
11 months... with Ben's coworkers. Ha ha.

Jane's 50th Birthday

I have the greatest mother-in-law. She's so fun and talented and she turned 50 last November. Today I was going through old pictures and realized I never blogged about her birthday! I couldn't believe it! Because it ended up being such a good surprise and we had so much fun. Here's what we did:

We dressed up like old people! I borrowed my grandma's curlers and Ben
wore my dad's shirt (sorry Dad :) ). We got a cane and walker from our neighbors,
gray hair paint and voila! We were 80 year olds!

We went to her house while she was in church and sat and waited in the living room
like it was an old folk's home. When she came home she walked in and didn't know what to think. She didn't even recognize me! Ha ha! We were so proud of ourselves. (L to R: Ben's brother Landon, Jane, Ben, Me, Trisha Wheelwright)

I got fake teeth from the dollar store. What a great investment. I wanted to put
them in the dinner glasses like dentures but they wouldn't sink.

We're all starting to show signs of old age- except for Jane. Doesn't she look so young?
And she did a triathlon last year. Whose mother-in-law does a triathlon?
I'm proud to say that mine does.

Landon with his beautiful (and young) wife Liesl. Looks like he robbed the cradle.

Ben and Landon are two peas in a pod

Even Chelsea got into the act

For dinner we had a delicious dinner of old people food:
Liesl's amazing meatloaf, mashed carrots, and pudding.

Landon was in charge of the cake, which was decorated with a old lady
in a Jeep running over a rhino. If the old lady is Jane,
and the rhino is old age, I think the symbolism is perfect.