Memorial Day

Today I realized that if I don't blog soon, my husband may take over this site :) Although I really have appreciated having a man's perspective on the past few posts. Ben has inadvertently inspired me with his recent blogging to: 1. Update my wardrobe to compete with his broadcast journalism friends (see his fashion post) and 2. Use the phrase "fiscal year" more often. I don't know what it means, but it makes every blog post sound more intelligent :) Just teasing love.

What I really wanted to talk about today is a few thoughts I've had about Memorial Day. My cousin Circe's blog inspired me. My grandmother Freda's 95th birthday is this week and we're having a party for her tomorrow. As a gift, I've been putting together a slide show. It's been interesting to view her life through pictures. Ben and I love this one:

My grandmother Freda is the one on the left. I think she might have even gotten in trouble with her mom for taking a picture showing her knees, but I think it's hilarious. And it shows her spunk.

But the great thing is, through her pictures I've seen the legacy she's left. She never wavered in her testimony even though she grew up in a small town in Montana with few members. When she married my grandfather, he wasn't a member but he went on to be a Stake Patriarch. She was raised during the Great Depression, then raised three young boys alone for 18 months while my grandfather was in the Pacific in WWII. She had seven great children, one of whom is my wonderful mother. She also served in the church her whole life, including going on a mission with my grandfather to Canada.

My grandmother and mom

Ben once said, "You honor your ancestors by living a life they would be proud of." I love that. My grandma Freda came from pioneer ancestors. I'm sure they'd be proud of the life she lived, but would they be proud of my life? I hope so. I think it's something I can always strive toward.

In the meantime, I'll just focus on living the best life I can this year. I mean, this fiscal year. Or whatever :)

Washington, D.C.

Back by popular demand! This is Ben again. I have no desire to write a post today, or in the next fiscal year, but I wanted to share this little video with our blessed blog audience. This is just a quick compilation of some of the video I shot while we were in D.C. One of these days I'll put it all into a documentary, but for now, this is all you're gettin'. Enjoy!

3 Sets of Clothes

Athena is at work tonight. This means I'm at home waiting for 11:00 when I can go to bed and wait for her to snuggle up to me at 5:30 a.m. Sometimes she is an emotional wreck when she gets home. Working in the E.R. is not a teddy bear's picnic for either party, no ma'am. Imagine me, the unsuspecting, sleeping husband trying to deal with an emotional, tired wife at 5:30 a.m. Sometimes it looks more like a grizzly bear's picnic. Needless to say, we love each other and the E.R. sometimes requires that we be patient with each other-- that or stockpile bear mace. However, I'll make the E.R. a post for another day--say--next year sometime when I post again. I feel like blogging is mostly a woman's sport, but I don't mind dabbling in this neck of the woods from time to time. I just need to remember to beat sticks against the trees to avoid any sort of unwanted encounters with the native wildlife. That said, I wander into this unknown forest of blogger bears, with the nearly concrete assumption that my audience is nearly almost, if not completely and entirely, female. Hence, I address what I feel to be a personal male flaw, in hopes to gain insight and understanding. Your comments and suggestions are welcome and encouraged.

My topic of discussion today is clothing. Perhaps my inspiration comes from a friend's blog www.xothelookbook.com. She was in the broadcast journalism program with me and was always impeccably dressed. I suppose this qualifies her to write a blog dedicated to the art of dressing well. The other inspiration for this post comes from a recent perusal of the "Petersen Palooza Blog." I realized after looking at the many pictures that Athena has posted, that it appears that I have/wear approximately three sets of clothes. Funny thing is, that's about accurate. Clothes really aren't my thing. If one were to examine the clothing that is currently in my closet and the clothing that was in my closet, say, seven years ago, there are few disparities between the two; yes, they are nearly identical. The fact of the matter is, I have been wearing the same clothes for a long time. Assuming I don't get typhoid fever and lose a bunch of weight, I will probably be wearing the same clothes until they fall apart or until my children steal them because the styles from the early part of this millennium have finally come back in vogue.


You see, I just don't worry too much about clothes. I have my favorite pair of shorts from the DI, my brother's pants that fit just right, a couple shirts that fit like a dream, and my beloved blue jacket that I picked up at a BYU lost and found sale. I watch styles float past my island of fashion disregard and I don't seem to mind. If my old clothes make me happy, why would I spend money on new ones? And if I did spend money on new clothes, what would I buy? Where would I buy it? What if I ended up hating my new wardrobe? The uncertainty of the entire endeavor is enough to discourage this fashion flop from even driving past a mall with thoughts of stopping.

My alternative to fashion and purchasing new clothing is simple: marriage. By marrying a style savvy woman, I have effectively evaded all malls and shopping trips, as well as the difficult decisions made in department stores. New clothing simply appears. Imagine that! Indeed, marrying Athena has brought previously unprecedented feng shui and renewed chi to my side of the closet. I declare in solemn solemnity that I have approximately two new items of clothing in my wardrobe-- a 200% increase over the last fiscal year. Yes, this whole marriage thing could change the entire face of the faded t-shirt section in the closet. It could mean I return my brother's sweaters so expertly pilfered after my mission. It could ring in a new era of style and suave debonair delight. It could mean my secret affinity for finding sweet old clothes at the DI is over. It could mean there will be more variety and style in the clothing I wear in the pictures on our blog. It could mean I lose my favorite belt that has served me since 8th grade or the t-shirt from my junior year of high school. Yes, this is serious business. While I know my old clothes won't last forever, I'm not sure what the future holds for my wardrobe. Perhaps I'll start wearing camouflage in order to sneak up on the styles before they sneak up on me. I've heard overalls never go out of style-- maybe therein lies my fashion future. The only thing I know is that my favorite pair of pants is starting to wear at the knee and Athena keeps suggesting we buy me some new clothes. Does that mean she wants me to go shopping with her? Do I make a go at it alone? The trepidation has me petrified. For now, I'll just keep wearing my faded clothes and hope overalls go on sale soon. The front pockets on those puppies would sure be nice for storing loose change and bear mace.
Ben

Tomorrow the World Will End

Today I'm going to put a plug in for this great book I've been reading lately: the Bible.

When I was a missionary, I had a problem. I didn't know exactly what I thought about the Bible. I mean, I believed it, I testified of it... but I think I only believed parts of it. Or better said, I believed the Book of Mormon more.

Why did I feel that way? In many countries of the world people have the Bible yet they still live in sin and unbelief. I saw it daily on my mission. Do you believe in the Bible? Yes. Will you marry your boyfriend then? No. But don't you know it says in the Bible that fornication is a sin? So what? Trust me, it happened more than once. And the poor Bible, I blamed it for all the disbelief I saw. I think I thought, "If this really is a book of God, how can it cause such confusion?"

Image courtesy of USAtoday.com

Speaking of which, did you know the world is going to end tomorrow? No seriously, look it up. People have quit their jobs, stopped paying the bills, and are out proclaiming in the streets. How do they know? Well, they applied a complicated math equation to the Bible, and voila! they found out the date of the end of the world is May 21, 2011.

So following my pattern, I should be frustrated and disappointed in the Bible today, right? Except that after Ben and I married, I expressed my doubts to him and he made a simple suggestion. Read it. Study it. Find out for yourself.

So since last year I've been reading. I began with the New Testament and am now into Deuteronomy of the Old Testament. And I'm loving it. Okay, I may have skimmed some of the chapters explaining animal sacrifice, but I can't believe how much I'm learning. After a lifetime of church activity I thought I knew the Bible, but I really didn't understand it at all. I'm beginning to believe it to the degree that I used to proclaim I did.

And if anyone else decides you want to read it too, don't do it alone. There are great supplemental materials to help with understanding and application. Jesus the Christ is a wonderful resource when reading the New Testament. And for the Old Testament I got the Student Manuals at the Church Distribution Center (the old testament is divided in two). I read it along with the scriptures every day and it helps me to get so much more out of my study.

So there's my religious soapbox for the day. Now excuse me while I go enjoy the last day of the world.

A Little Update

I've been slacking on updating the blog, mostly because of everything that's recently happened, but also because I started working the night shift from 5pm to 5am again. I work at night, sleep in the day, and when I wake up it usually feels like what I would imagine a hangover to feel like. That's the best way I can describe it. I'm sure you other night-workers understand. But apart from the morning hangover, I'm so so happy to be in the ER again. I love my coworkers, the pace, the experience, and the challenge. It's the ideal job for me. Also, compared to my job in DC (which I only did for a few shifts) my new job is like Disneyland. Or at least California Adventure.

And the great thing about a fantastic husband is, he often leaves me little notes or treats to find when I get home from a hard shift. Last week he outdid himself. I found this after a difficult shift last week when I walked into the bathroom:

He had done it as a late anniversary gift. All the cards had excerpts from Ben's journal entries during our first year of marriage. They were hung from the ceiling by fishing line.


It was such a great surprise and I cried when I read all the things he wrote about our first year together. So sorry if it's a sappy love post, but my husband makes me so so happy. We have had a great first year together. Having a morning hangover means nothing after finding such a wonderful surprise.

The Adventure Continues...

Well, the adventure of miscarrying continued this weekend and I hope it will now finally begin to wrap up. I thought I'd write a summarized version just to let you all know we're doing well and the worst is now over. Last Tuesday I had passed lots of tissue, thinking I had fully miscarried, and by Saturday (our anniversary) the bleeding had almost totally stopped. However Sunday after church I began to hemorrhage and bleed like a faucet, so Ben drove me to the hospital.

Because of insurance reasons I didn't get to go to the ER where I work (bummer), but the ER where I went took great care of me. It was hard to be the patient and not the nurse, but everything went really smoothly. When my lab work came back, my hematocrit was only 27, which means I had lost a lot of blood. The ultrasound showed large amounts of retained products and placenta (which was facilitating the bleeding), so the doctor called the OB and I was prepped for surgery. I had to have a D&C (not the gospel D&C of course, but dilation and curettage) of my uterus. Basically they were going to go in and clean me out so that the bleeding would stop.

In the ER with two IV's due to my heavy bleeding.

The tender mercies of the Lord were everywhere. The nurse who originally oriented me as an ER nurse, Ron, was working and when he saw me he immediately triaged me and put me in a room. That may have also been because I was already starting to bleed through my pants, but we'll give him points for hospitality :) There were other nurses who I used to work with who came and said hi, and the nurse who took care of me was phenomenal. Even the ultrasound tech did a great job and told me, "If you tried to pass all this at home, you'd probably bleed to death". Good thing I'm not afraid of hospitals :)

Another tender mercy was that the on-call doctor for my office was also the doctor on-call for the ER. When I spoke with him I was already at the hospital, but he told me I'd made the right decision and he'd be ready to come in if I needed surgery. After the ER doctor called him, he was there within 15 minutes, even with it being Easter. Surgery went well, although I lost about a liter of blood and they had to transfuse me 2 units mid-procedure. Even after he finished, the doctor put a balloon in to decrease the bleeding. I was under anesthesia so I don't remember anything, although I guess I said some pretty memorable things after that Ben wrote down and is planning on putting in a future blog post. Stay tuned...

After they moved me to my room for the night, my mom and dad stopped by. It was my Dad's 70th birthday and we had missed his party. We were bummed, but of course he understood. Ben was so exhausted but he stayed the whole night by my side on a cot they brought in. It was so comforting to have him there. He's such a wonderful husband.

Ben on his cot

Both Ben and I barely slept that night. Even after surgery and the transfusion my hematocrit was still only 28 and all night my blood pressures were between 80-90/50. In the morning they redrew my blood and the hematocrit had dropped to 27, plus I had a low grade fever. I thought they were going to make me stay another day. However when the doctor came for his morning rounds, he told me I could go home if:
1. My vital signs were good
2. I could walk around the nurses' station without getting dizzy
3. I could go to the bathroom without the catheter

I was so excited! After breakfast I made Ben walk around the nurses' station with me three times, I proudly peed, and by noon my vital signs looked great.

Here we are right before discharge. This picture makes me laugh out loud. Don't we look like two people who've just had the worst night of their life? Not to mention the 10 pounds I gained from all the fluid. But on the bright side, Ben brought me the beautiful flowers in the back. Did I mention what a stellar husband I have?

So now we're home. I'm weak and sometimes dizzy, but feeling much better. Better than I have for months actually. My skin is slowly getting back it's color and I've lost six pounds in the past 2 days. Of course that's because I go to the bathroom every 30 minutes :) For those of you who knew about all this, thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Our testimony from this experience is that Heavenly Father stands by his children when we are going through a difficult time and he will never, ever, make us go through anything alone. If we don't abandon him, he will never abandon us.

One whole year together!

Can you believe it? Ben and I have already been married one year. On Saturday April 23, we celebrated first anniversary. What a great day! It was so fun to reminisce about our sealing in the Provo temple. Even the weather paid tribute; it was overcast and rainy, just like on our wedding day last year.

Coming out of the temple

After sleeping in late, we made a waffle breakfast with whipped cream and strawberries. We then got ready and went to the Provo temple to do sealings. I love the Provo temple. And getting to see the sealing room where we were married was wonderful too. We then went home and read our journal entries together about the day we got married. We also read the sealer's advice to us and how we are doing to apply it in our marriage. We discussed the leap of faith it was to get married, but how happy we have been since.

That night we drove to Salt Lake to go to a restaurant I have always wanted to go to. The Melting Pot is extremely expensive, so when Ben told me we could go for our anniversary I was shocked (Ben is very frugal). But true to his word we went up and had a delicious dinner of fondue, all cooked by us on a pot on our table. We sucked up the cost, and it was totally worth it. What a fun place to eat!

We had spinach artichoke cheese dip as our appetizer. Delicious!
And the guy holding the food isn't too bad looking either :)

We then moved on to the meat portion. The platter had a variety of meats to try.

Our boiling pot of oil

Best part of the meal? Dessert of course.
How can you complain when everything is dipped in chocolate?

The week before our anniversary had been very hard emotionally and especially physically due to the miscarriage, but I was so grateful that I felt well and our anniversary was so fun. I think after having a tough week Heavenly Father wanted to give us one day that we could remember how good it is to be married and how much we love each other. This is especially true since the next day brought a lot of surprises and was especially difficult for both of us.