Smotherhood

Social media makes people's lives look so glamorous and perfect, doesn't it? I'll admit, I almost exclusively post the best of my life because it's my highlight roll. It's what I want to remember. The reality, however, is that my life is neither glamorous nor perfect- no one's is. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother. I love it. But I once heard motherhood referred to as "smotherhood" and I get it. Many days I myself ask, "Can a woman get a moment to herself around here?!"

There are so many things I used to do alone and not even think about the solitude... not even think about it. How things have changed since I had children.

Take going to the bathroom for example:

Teddy calling to Ben in the bathroom (he does the same thing to me- there's no mistaking those little fingers under the door).

Or showering. Teddy is an early riser and isn't very interested in TV. That means that unless I want to wake up before him (which I typically don't), I have to pull him into the shower with me to keep him out of trouble (I used to let him play with toys outside the shower until he started putting them in the toilet). Now shower time has become a juggle of keeping Teddy occupied and away from the razor that I'm using to shave my legs.

And then we move on to doing my hair and make-up. I've found the trick to being able to get anything done is to put Teddy in the sink and let him tear apart my vanity. I've only had to pull the deodorant from his mouth one time so, we're still in good shape, right?

Also, remember those days when you were childless and you could go buy a soda at the drive-through and sip it peacefully in the car? Remember that? Now each time I want anything at a drive-through I have to consider the two mouths sitting behind me. It makes those frequent Sonic trips a little more expensive than they used to be. Thank goodness for Happy Hour.

(This photo was actually taken on a day that sodas and Dora were the only thing that got us through until bedtime).

And last but not least, sleep. A few months ago Nayeli started having bad dreams and so I would crawl into bed with her to help her fall back asleep. Then Ben was sad that he was waking up in the morning by himself, so I started pulling her into bed with us. It was okay for awhile, but then she started to take liberties with space and before we knew it Ben was sleeping on a sliver of our bed each night. Not to mention that I was sandwiched between the two of them. The situation just made us all grouchy and wasn't working.

Luckily, we were able to make Nayeli a mini-bed right by where I sleep. She's taken to that quite well and we've found we're all sleeping much better.

Nevermind that it's a king sized bed- we would always end up like this in the morning. 

Oh, and one last thing:

There are two funny things about this picture. First, look at the text in blue. That was one of the kids texting Ben from my phone. Pretty sure it went something like this:

(Me, trying to send Ben a text)

Kid: Mom, I want to send Dad a text.

Me: Okay, just a second, let me finish this.

Kid: But I want to send him a text now! And play a game! And look at pictures!

Me: Just a second, I just have to finish...

Kid: Now!

Remember the days when you could just send a text and handle your phone without someone else trying to pry it from your hands? Me too. But just barely...

Then second part of the picture is the text in yellow. Ben sent this to me on his lunch break and I could not stop laughing. It looks like Teddy sampled some of the produce when he "helped" me put the groceries away. That's another thing... remember grocery shopping by yourself? Yeah, me neither.

The truth about motherhood is that it is about finding balance- a balance between giving your children your time and love while maintaining a sense of self-identity. It's about keeping your sanity while developing lasting relationships with your kids. I am still learning how to balance (and stay sane for that matter), but I look to two of the great examples in my life for help.

My own mother was a wonderful example of selflessness. She would drop any personal interest or endeavor to show us love and give us time. She always erred on the side of giving us more and herself less. She is one of the most loving people I have ever known.

The second example, and the most perfect, is the Savior. He never thought of himself but only of others. He was constantly loving, serving, helping and caring. Christ said, "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it" (Matthew 10:39). Am I losing my life to be a mother? Maybe. But by giving so much of myself, more than I ever thought I could give, I am also discovering greater love, patience, happiness and joy than I ever thought possible. Whatever I may give, the reward is infinitely greater. 

In the meantime, I'll try to relish the snuggles in bed and the fingers under the bathroom door. They won't last forever, and while they do they can make me a better person. Also, it doesn't hurt that I get to wake up to this face. No matter what time it is, he is still cute.

Early morning selfie

Teddy the Rascal

Teddy is the cutest rascal you ever saw, and although a majority of his rascal antics are minor, others are downright dangerous. Most of the time he does things that just make me chuckle, but this last week he had me weak in the knees and in tears two days in a row. Not intentionally of course; he's just a curious, busy, inquisitive little boy that wants to see the whole world all at once.

Here's a little update.

Remember this post about Teddy climbing? He hasn't stopped of course, although I will admit he hasn't done anything quite as crazy as that one time he climbed up the chair. That still takes the cake.

We finally had to move the DVD player up because he figured out how to open it and scratch the DVDs.

 Eating pudding with enthusiasm.

He pretty much looks like this after every meal.

He loves to get into my canned goods and rearrange them.  

He's hit that phase- trying to undress himself in his crib.

One day I was feeding him dinner and he surprised me by how much he was eating. I just kept putting food on his tray until I finally realized what was happening.

Note to kids: if you don't want to eat your dinner, just put it down your Onesie! Mom will never know and you won't have to eat a bite!

He had quite a bit of food stashed down there. Pretty ingenious, kiddo.  

As you can see, most of Teddy's antics aren't outside the realm of what other little boys do. But last week he showed me that he's not trying to be like any other little boy.

On Monday I watched a friend's kids in the morning. Teddy was acting tired so I put him in his crib to see if he would nap. I then went to rock the baby to sleep. I heard Teddy crying, but it wasn't really anything out of the ordinary and I couldn't go get him because I was taking care of my friend's child. Finally, when she fell asleep I went into check on Teddy and I found this:

This is the frame that was on his dresser more than a foot away. Somehow he had pulled it into his crib, broken the glass, and was playing with the pieces. He had blood all over his hands and I was panicked. I took him to the bathroom to ascertain the damage and only saw minor cuts to four fingers. Incredibly, he would not need stitches.

My knees were so shaky as I contemplated the damage that he could have done to himself. What a miracle and blessing that he was okay! I was able to bandage his hands and by the time he had pulled the bandages off the bleeding had stopped.

I thought that was bad, but then the next day he kicked it up a notch. I was cutting an apple for the kids when Nayeli informed me that she had wet her pants and it was on the carpet in my room. I left my knife on the counter to go clean up the urine. As I was wiping up the mess I heard Nayeli yell, "Mom! Teddy has a knife!" I turned to see Teddy with my paring knife IN. HIS. MOUTH. I kid you not, my heart nearly stopped. He had blood on his cheek where he had already cut himself, so I quickly and carefully walked over and took the knife from his hands. It was another moment of trying to calm myself and him, then figure out if I had to take him to the doctor for stitches. Luckily he had only nicked his cheek, but you wouldn't have known it by the tears I shed. I was a wreck! What kind of mother was I?! Thankfully Ben soon arrived home from work and he was able to comfort me.

By Wednesday I was on my guard. There was no way Teddy was going to do anything life-threatening to himself! By the time Ben arrived home, I proudly pronounced that Teddy had not injured himself that day. "Oh, but honey," said Ben, "the day isn't over yet." He was right, dang it, and if we're looking at it long term, I've got 16.5 years more to make sure this kid doesn't harm himself seriously.

As daunting of a task as that seems, I'm going to take it one day at a time and pray like crazy that his guardian angels aren't as exhausted as I am at the end of the day.

And this sweet face seems to make it easier. I mean, is this the face of a little rascal? Never ;)

The Final Days of Summer- September 2015

The end of the summer was so beautiful here in Oregon and the wonderful weather extended all the way into September. True to form, we tried to stay busy and get outside as much as possible.

Even after Labor Day we were able to enjoy the fountains in the town park

Our friend Dennine invited us to a fun children's art studio in Portland. Teddy wasn't shy about tasting each color of paint. He looked like the Joker.

Nayeli the artist

There was a rice play table. Teddy climbed in to enjoy it close up. No big surprise there.

Nayeli likes to dress up and pretend she's going on adventures. She is just the cutest.

 She even got to dress up as Elsa for a "girl party" at Audra's house. She was so excited.

All three Elsa's at the girl party.

The Goodwill car we purchased for Nayeli's second birthday is still a hit! I just wish it had two seats so there was a little less bickering. 

I am a project person because they keep me busy and when I'm busy, I'm happy. I got some nice red frames for free from a friend, so I spray painted them and made this small gallery wall in our apartment. It makes me happy to look at every day. 

I also finally finished a project that was on my to-do list for six years. I sorted through all my mission pictures, chose the best ones, edited them, printed them, then put them into albums and labeled them. It took me HOURS after the kids (and Ben) were in bed, but it was worth it. I loved going back through my journals and letters- it was like living my mission all over again. Oh how I loved it! It was so hard but so good and made me just the person I needed to be. I am eternally grateful that I served a mission and think about the people I met and experiences I had every day.

It ended up being 500 photos in two albums

We also put Nayeli in a few weeks of swim lessons during September. A friend from our complex taught them in our pool and hot tub. Nayeli was so excited because she got to do them with her best friend Audra. By the end she had learned to put her face in the water and get her ears wet- good accomplishments for a three year old.

We actually spent quite a bit of time at the pool as a family, or should I say the hot tub :)

We also headed to the playground at least once a day. It's usually at 4pm when I'm just trying to keep the kids happy until Ben gets home.

When did my little boy get so big? He just melts my heart. 

At the beginning of the month our ward had a picnic and our neighbors Pops and Anita came. Nayeli loves to have rides in Anita's wheelchair and at the picnic she was lucky enough to get one. Audra joined in on the fun too.

One of the highlights of the month was getting the kids helmets and having a neighbor loan Nayeli a balance bike. We can now take the kids on bike rides (Teddy uses Nayeli's old trike).

Nayeli's face when I showed her the helmets I got. You would have thought it was Christmas.

Riding on Teddy's trike, in her pink tutu and sparkly sandals of course.

Trying to put her helmet on herself.

Her first day on the balance bike. She was so proud.

These kiddos...

Nayeli and I have been practicing recognizing and writing letters but I didn't feel like much was getting through. Then one day we were outside drawing with sidewalk chalk and Nayeli said, "Mom, look!" I looked over and saw she had written a D and A all by herself with no prompting from me. It was definitely a proud mom moment for me.

See the D and A? She's the next Einstein I tell you ;)

He's just starting to get big enough to fight back. Sometimes it's more vicious- this was just in good fun.

 Speaking of Teddy's viciousness- he took a bite out of Nayeli and left a good mark. He also likes to pull clumps of hair out of her head. We're working on all that (I also won't say that she didn't deserve it ;) )

Ben studies for the GMAT on Saturdays so I have been trying to find activities to keep the kids busy. Home Depot has kid workshops that we happened to stumble upon. Nayeli was thrilled to make a firetruck and Teddy was thrilled to be allowed to suck on a screwdriver. It was a win all around.

 

Another activity to keep the kids busy- free balloons at Old Navy!

 My rascals

 More of the kids on the bike. We borrowed a balance bike for Nayeli from a friend and Teddy inherited the trike.

Riding a balance bike can be hard

 She was having a rough day. She actually really likes her balance bike, I promise.

Overall September was a great month. Life is crazy right now with Ben studying all the time, but the kids have become my little buddies and I'm pretty used to being a "GMAT widow". We have our hard days, but life is really good. And these two kids brighten each day, so I can't complain about that.

Labor Day in Hermiston

In August my poor sister Emily had to have an emergency c-section while she was at Education Week in Utah. She lives in eastern Oregon and had to deliver so quickly that my brother-in-law Darren didn't even have time to get there. He had to watch the delivery via Skype and then fly down the next day. Then her baby was in the NICU for ten days and the whole experience was crazy and stressful. I thought she'd arrive home and not want to see anyone for months, but when my mom drove her home to Oregon and she invited us to come visit for Labor Day, I couldn't say no.

Ben basically studied for the GMAT the whole weekend, except on Sunday when he made Paul get out his Lego collection and they built an epic fortress.

Teddy climbing in the garden, like he does. He ate his weight in tomatoes off of Emily's plants. The kid has an addiction.

The highlight of Emily's house (for my kids anyway) is the sandbox aka an area on the side of the house where the grass doesn't grow. 

My kids played there with Gabe for HOURS. Also, their faces in this picture are awesome.

Post-sandbox baths

 Ben is a decent self-taught photographer, so Emily had him show her how to take a few newborn shots. Sweet baby Luke was so cute in them.

This photo is blurry, but is showed what we did most of the weekend- we sat on the couch and watched BYU football and Fixer Upper. I love watching decorating shows with my sisters and mom. Emily and my mom were so fun to be around.

Nayeli's photo of cute and hilarious Gabe

 Did I mention Teddy has a tomato (and salsa) addiction?

Ben playing Paul's trumpet and reminiscing on his own days in Junior High band.

We didn't get out much since Emily had a new baby and was still recovering, but one day we went to lunch at a fun restaurant in town. The portions were huge, but so were our stomachs so we didn't complain :)

 Mickey Mouse pancakes for the kids

Ben's gigantic omelet

 Nayeli and Gabe are becoming such cute friends and it's so fun to see.

 Nayeli loved baby Luke

She later asked me, "Mom, when we have another baby, can you have a girl baby?" Whoa. Luke was cute enough to make anyone baby hungry... but I think I'm still catching up on lost sleep from Teddy. All in good time, Yeli girl, all in good time :)

Thanks Emily and Darren for a fun weekend!